where i find the time to read
and the 10 books i'd recommend, along with a peek into the first seen library event in london
This may sound like a silly topic to write about, but you’d be surprised at how many DMs I get from people asking for advice on how to read more. I admit — the first couple times I got messages like this, I was so confused. How to read more? Really? Just put down your phone and pick up a book. It’s simple.
But the more I got asked this, the more I realized that it’s clearly not that simple if so many were wondering where I find the time. These days we are encouraged to be glued to our phones — from social media platforms giving us notifications for every single action happening on their little apps and the ability to endlessly scroll, from our jobs demanding that we respond to each email within the hour or even from our friends or family who expect us to receive a text back in minutes. And I know it’s not just our phones preventing us from picking up that book — life gets in the way, too. Some have kids or elderly parents to look after in their free time. Some just have other things they’d rather do than read — like play with their pets or go workout or join a fantasy football league (yes, this is a subtweet to my husband).
I was hesitant to write this piece — on how I read — because I don’t know, it felt so uninteresting or arrogant even. I started jotting some things down in my drafts and was struggling when I happened to stumble upon another newsletter about the same topic that was recommended by a friend. It’s called Books + Bits by Pandora Sykes and in her latest piece, she shares just how she’s able to read so much and I loved the way she articulated how weird it is to talk about it:
It’s irritating to see someone do so much of something that you feel you have no time for. I feel similarly riveted and envious when I see people on IG having the time to do their hair so nicely every day or the time to go to pilates so often. So I am going to try and answer this question as fully and honestly as I can, while musing on this idea of time and why reading is somehow seen as a more productive use of it than other hobbies.
Historically, I’ve shied away from answering this question, because to answer it would be to acknowledge that yes, I do read a lot. And that to do so might imply that I think I’m smart, or diligent, or - perish the thought - well read. (I actually don’t think I’m particularly well read, btw. I read a lot, but have enormous gaps in my literary education.) But pretending I don’t read a lot is like pretending I go spinning every day. It’s an intractable truth.
Like Pandora, I read a lot because that’s where I dedicate my time. She says:
…When it comes to our disposable hours, we make time for the things we want to do. I read because it’s what I want to do, frequently to the exclusion of other things. I may think that I want to get into a solid pilates routine, or cook a meal out of a cook book, or go to a gallery opening, but in reality, I only want to want to. I will find ways, as I always do, to not do the other stuff, so that I can find time to read. So if you want to want to read, don’t force it. As long as you’re finding ways to nourish yourself, cut yourself some slack. Screw the books!
We all have stuff we want to want to do. Maybe when you finally make headway through the book cleaved to the surface of your nightstand, I’ll finally commit to a thrice weekly exercise routine, and my reading will, with its big girl panties on, take a backseat for a while.
After reading her piece, I was inspired to share where I find the time to read and what things fall to the wayside because of that.
I take a book with me everywhere I go. Everywhere. I take a book with me to appointments, whether it’s a doctor’s visit, lunch date with a friend or work meetings. If the person I’m meeting with is running late, I read. If I happen to get someplace early, I read. If I have to wait for a prescription to be filled or an iced tea latte to be made, I read. I always try to read instead of scrolling on my phone. You’d be surprised just how many pages I get through just by waiting. I also take a book with me to the beach, to the airport, to restaurants, to the DMV… You name it. I’m telling you — I take one everywhere.
I read most nights. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m “bad” at watching TV. I don’t watch a lot of it, mostly because I hate the time it takes browsing through the multiple streaming apps to find something to watch. I’d rather choose between the two books I’m reading than go through that process. I’d rather read a book I know I like than take a chance on a show I’m not sure I’ll enjoy. I also don’t scroll on my phone as much as I used to. I deleted Twitter, I don’t spend a lot of time on TikTok at all (I get tired of it after about 5 videos), and I no longer scroll on Instagram. I try my best to reach for my book instead of my phone that last hour before bedtime.
I always have at least two books on rotation — usually one fiction and one nonfiction — because I read more when I’m in the mood for what I’m reading. Groundbreaking, I know. If my nonfiction feels too serious or dense, I go for my fiction. If I feel like learning, I’ll reach for my nonfiction. And if I don’t like the book at all, I just don’t finish it! Before when I didn’t like a book, I used to power through it, feeling guilty if I didn’t. Now, I put books that I don’t like back on the shelf or donate it and reach for a new one. There’s nothing like a bad book that can get you into a reading slump. If you’re not into your book, you’re likely not going to pick it up off your nightstand and will go for your phone instead. So let yourself move on to another.
I don’t ever read in cars because I get super carsick, so reading during commutes isn’t a thing for me in LA. Well, apart from the phase in college when I’d read *while* at red lights because I was so into my book. I don’t recommend that — at all. It was so stupid and dangerous and I often look back at how careless I was with my life. In London, though, I’ve found that I’m totally fine reading in a bus or train (underground when stopped, overground the entire time). I recently took an hour and a half trip to Margate and nearly finished Yellowface by RF Kuang in that commute alone.
If I don’t feel like running but still want to get some steps in at the gym, I bring a book and feel no shame about it. I don’t beat myself up for not being in the mood to run — it’s a win-win if I’m able to move my body and dive into a good story.
I go on reading dates with my husband. Sometimes if we don’t have anything to do but want to get out of the house or hotel, we’ll head to a coffee shop or park and sit together, reading our books. Invite a friend or a loved one to do this with you! It’s nice and relaxing and a no pressure hang.
And here’s a non-exhaustive list of the things I don’t make the time to do that likely give me more time to read:
Like Pandora, I don’t really have a regular exercise routine. For the past couple years I’ve been going to a gym, but I’m not strict about it. And while in London, I’ve been using the free trial for Classpass, which has allowed me to sign up for some workout classes. But this isn’t taking up hours of my day everyday, as much as I’d like for it to.
I also don’t spend a lot of time cooking or cleaning. I’m very lucky that my husband takes on most (read: all) of the cooking and we get a housekeeper every few months for a deeper clean. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been so resistant to both of these departments. And it’s not something I’m proud of — cooking and cleaning are life skills that everyone should have… life skills that I unfortunately lack.
Apart from haircuts every few months and facials here and there, I don’t have many beauty appointments — I don’t get my nails done, or my lashes or eyebrows, or my hair colored, or my bikini waxed / lasered, mostly because I find them so boring and tedious and also painful and expensive and most of all, time-consuming! I think about how much time it took out of my month to “maintain” my appearance with all of these different appointments on top of the already laborious daily skincare and makeup routines.
I’m a homebody. My going out days are behind me. I might have a dinner or work event here and there, but you will likely not see me out past 10pm. I drink a handful of times a year but besides those 3 to 5 nights that are usually reserved for weddings or birthday parties, I don’t have a lick of alcohol and because of that, usually have the ability to get myself home at a decent hour.
At this point in my life, I don’t have anyone else to take care of besides my cat (who actually and surprisingly takes up a lot of my time as I can’t seem to stop cuddling and petting and playing with her) because I don’t yet have children or elderly parents who require lots of time and attention.
Maybe this piece has inspired you to find the time to read more. Or maybe it’s validated your choice to spend that time doing other things! If you do find yourself in the first camp, though, and do want to make an effort to read more but don’t know where to start, here are some books I couldn’t put down:
More favorites here.
this inspired me to start reading in public. why dont i avoid doing that? i always felt self conscious and feel like I need to be on my phone or laptop instead lol! ty for sharing your thoughts and i always cheer when i see books I have read on someone else's list (yellowface easily the best read of the year for me!)
love this, taking notes!! i already bring a book everywhere, but would love to integrate reading dates with my friends into my schedule + making a more conscious effort to swap our reading for scrolling mindlessly on my phone until the last second before i shut my eyes to sleep <3