recently read: token black girl by danielle prescod
11: and my top 10 favorite books I read in 2022
Knowing what book someone is reading and what parts they resonate with most can be so intimate. It reveals their interests, where their head is at, and what excerpts are so significant that they will mark up a page because they think it’s worth revisiting at a later time. I’m fascinated by what books others gravitate towards and I find that it helps me get to know them better and gives me a small glimpse into who they are at their core. No one asked for these book reviews, but maybe it’s my way of showing who I am and what I’m interested in – beyond the clothes, the products, and my career. Or at the very least, encourage some to look up from their phones and instead towards the pages of a good book.
Book no. 31 of 2022
Token Black Girl by Danielle Prescod
Brutally honest, sometimes uncomfortably so, candid, and unfortunately at times, very relatable. It made me think back to teenage me who used clothes as a way to belong and admittedly, as a way to feel superior in times I felt less than. As someone who was always referred to as — and sadly sometimes even self proclaimed — the token Asian girl in college, some parts hit hard.
It’s a look into a Danielle Prescod’s experience as a Black woman navigating white spaces, specifically in the fashion industry. Because I, too, have worked in fashion and media for the past 10 years, I found it incredibly interesting. It made me reflect on the uncomfortable times white clients made racist jokes or comments — that because a colleague is Asian, she’ll do the project quickly, or that “Risa” sounds like “Lisa” but just with an Asian accent — and I sat quietly, not wanting to risk my paycheck. Situations like that are never easy, and I appreciate Danielle sharing her own experiences and acknowledging how difficult it is to speak up when your income is on the line. I think a lot of people in this field would benefit from reading Danielle’s book and open their eyes to the injustices in the industry and the limits of impact within it — that even the times you do speak up, it sometimes only can go so far if those at the top have no interest in pushing things forward.
I always find it difficult to rate memoirs as I want to respect someone’s experiences even if I don’t fully enjoy the writing style or editing. There are many reviews critiquing Danielle’s upbringing and her actions when she was younger, but I do think it’s brave and honest for her to share them anyway and show a raw look into her early days, how it influenced her career journey, and where she’s at now.
Underlined quotes:
“He said out loud what a large majority of mainstream men in power feel in private… The ones who decide what beauty looks like, how much it weighs, and what age it should be.”
“I was convinced I had to work for and earn affection… I would have to put in the time and effort to be loved.”
“I love clothing… for the ways it allowed me to construct an idealized version of myself and my life… I could build myself into a new person with each outfit… Being better dressed helped me establish my worthiness. This is an ugly thing to admit so no one does.”
“Too sensitive… You can’t take a joke... This further ostracizes you and when stakes get higher - a promotion, raise, or job hinges on your ability to ‘hang’ - you might be surprised at what you can ignore.”
“The pathology of constantly striving to improve oneself had worked so flawlessly on me… I thought when I was critical, I was being helpful.”
“There has been wider acceptance of different body types, skin tones and racial backgrounds, but the acknowledgment that you need to broaden customer appeal to sell something is not synonymous with genuine respect.”
“When you work in an industry responsible for imagery that can affect millions of people, you are constantly at moral odds with what you know is right and the requirements of your job. Since the industry favors white supremacy, it requires you to do the same.”
“How much pain you can withstand should not be the barometer of how successful you can become.”
“Women are taught that our bodies must be fixed and that, if given the power to do so, we should use it.”
“It’s the media’s job to accurately reflect the world we live in, not distort it.”
Book no. 32 of 2022
Happy for You by Claire Stanford
I really wanted to like this book… the summary was very enticing — a book about a woman working for an app that will help users quantify their happiness with algorithms. While it touched on race and questions of motherhood, it didn’t go very deep. The book fell really flat and only scratched the surface of interesting topics. It also felt all over the place — not interweaving in a way that felt natural. A bit disappointed as I feel it had so much potential.
Underlined quotes:
“If we try to standardize happiness… a kind of uniform container for human experience… people themselves will become more standardized.”
“Humans with different needs, wants, ways of being, ways of experiencing reality — there must also be a diversity of happiness… We each need space to try to achieve happiness privately, without interference from the public… We obscure our own happiness from ourselves by trying to project it and articulate it and prove it to others. These sites… flatten and falsify happiness when they ask us to affirm each other’s life choices through likes.”
“I’d say I’ve got no maternal instinct, but I’m not sure I buy that. What is maternal instinct except a way to shame women and condition them to believe they are the ones responsible for the baby’s well-being? Where is paternal instinct? Maybe if paternal instinct existed, I would be more interested in having a baby.”
“We need pain to survive. Without pain, we can’t know that a part of us is suffering, that a part of us needs to be looked after. We all shy away from pain, we’ll do anything to avoid it. But pain is the body’s way of saying, stop, take care. Pay attention.”
These were the last two books I read in 2022 and I’m excited to finally move on to those I’ve read in 2023.
To wrap it up, I’m re-sharing my top 10 favorite books I read in 2022:
More recently read: