no one asked: airport outfits, low-stakes friendships and seen library in new york
23: go-to airport outfits, chic suitcases and seen library in new york
Re-wearing…
I have a trip to New York coming up soon and before every trip, no matter where I go, I absolutely dread packing. If you know me (or have read any of my travel-related Substacks), you know that it’s quite a process for me. I pull up my schedule on my phone, hang the clothes that I think I’ll want to wear in a separate area of my closet, try on various outfits, take photos of the outfits I want to take and then type out which pieces I’ll wear and on what day in my Notes app. I know this is all my own doing, but even though it takes forever to prep, it really does save so much time when I am finally in my destination.
But because it takes so long to choose what I’m wearing for the actual trip, I make sure that I spend almost no time figuring out what to wear on the flight itself. I always have a go-to airport outfit that I don’t have to think about, even if it slightly changes throughout the years.
This one from 2021 was my go-to airport outfit for years: a plain white tee (KOTN and Sezane have good ones), black leggings, a secondhand Balenciaga light jacket, VEN cashmere sweater and my favorite New Balance sneakers.
A year or so ago, my friend Grant Legan told me that he wears all black to the airport because it always looks more put together, especially when you’re running on 1 hour of sleep and your hair is messed up from the headrest. I took his advice and agree — I think it does look (and feel) a lot more polished even if I’m dressed in the comfiest of clothes. My all-black airport outfit consists of: Vince Wool and Cashmere Zip Hoodie (similar here) over a black tank, Wolford Pure Pants (similar here) and a pair of sneakers.
On a recent trip to Cabo, though, I did mix it up as I felt the all-black was harsh for a beach vacation. I went with all-brown instead, to no one’s surprise, I’m sure! What I wore: silk trousers (similar here), basic tank, cashmere cardigan (similar here) and a pair of sneakers.
And as for bags? These are the only ones I wear for travel: Longchamp Tote and this Hermes Mini Bag (similar here) that I took from my mom, where I keep my wallet, passport, airpods, Dramamine, etc. for easy access.
Adding to wishlist…
A chic, dark brown suitcase, influenced by my friend
who shared one in a recent Instagram post. Admittedly, I spent more than I should have on a silver Rimowa one on a trip to Paris years ago (at least there was a VAT refund?) thanks to peer pressure… But to be honest, I don’t think it’s worth it. Which is why I have my eyes on these much less expensive ones: Monos x Sincerely Jules and AWAY.Looking forward to…
The first Seen Library (mini) pop up in New York next Saturday on October 12!!!
Guests will be able to shop a selection of pre-loved and intentionally curated books, each wrapped in soft, creamy paper adorned with a custom library card of handwritten clues, so that you can choose a book based on what is really speaking to you and what you feel most drawn to — instead of its cover or because it’s a new release or New York Times best seller. It also makes for a thoughtful gift for yourself or loved one. :)
Each title is centered around a single theme: Close Encounters. These stories center around key interactions or experiences that have a deep impact on the characters and the narrative, often involving meaningful moments of connection or confrontation.
There is a limited selection so be sure to get there while supplies last!
PS: Those who purchase a beverage from the cafe get 10% off the order (you’ll just have to show me the receipt!).
Details below:
Saturday, October 12
From 11am to 3pm
385 Smith St, Brooklyn
Bring a friend! Say hello! Buy some books (or don’t)! Just browse! Treat yourself to a yummy beverage!
Reading…
As for what I’m currently reading… I know everyone’s talking about Sally Rooney’s Intermezzo, as it’s just come out and has a ton of buzz around it, but I’m actually reading her last book, Beautiful World, Where Are You. While I obviously understand the race to purchase the newest book that everyone is talking about, there are so many books out there I want to read that I try to just focus on the books that are already on my ever-growing TBR list.
While I feel like the pacing is a bit slow and find the two friends’ emails back and forth a bit tedious at times, I really appreciate the questions Rooney poses through these interactions. Questions about the point of our existence, politics, relationships, sex. She captures the millennial existential angst so well that at times it feels like I’m reading conversations I’ve had with my own friends (except they’re much more intellectual). I already have so many quotes underlined, but I’ll leave you with one for now:
What if the meaning of life on earth is not eternal progress toward some unspecified goal—the engineering and production of more and more powerful technologies, the development of more and more complex and abstruse cultural forms? What if these things just rise and recede naturally, like tides, while the meaning of life remains the same always—just to live and be with other people?
Eating…
It’s my husband’s birthday and as always, he’s requested Indian. To celebrate, we’re ordering in food from All India Cafe to enjoy with friends at home and finishing the night with one of our favorite cakes — Blum’s Coffee Crunch Cake from Valerie Confections. Filipino-owned Wanderlust Creamery is also releasing their seasonal flavors today in honor of Filipino American Heritage Month (their best month in terms of flavors, in my opinion!) so I’m sure we’ll head over there at some point this weekend.
Restacking…
The Mainstreaming of Loserdom by
(someone I also LOVE to follow on TikTok)People simply aren’t connecting the way they used to, and I won’t be the bad guy for pointing out that it doesn’t surprise me that people are desperately lonely while also saying their favorite hobby is… staying home…
My issue is that I do not believe that the millions of people engaging with these posts all have very literal tolerance for social interaction. There is the issue of an individualistic culture and declining social etiquette (posts about people stating “I hate my coworkers and I hate small talk and I refuse to engage in any conversation outside my job” routinely go viral, and I think that’s a failing of etiquette, sorry!) allowing people to state these opinions without shame, but it does feel like a larger societal failing that the activity people crave the most is scrolling on their phones, watching other people live their lives…
more on "low-stakes friendships" by
We've been conditioned to believe that every interaction must be deep, meaningful, and emotionally productive. But in our quest to optimize our friendships, we may be losing sight of what friendship is fundamentally about: feeling good in each other's company…
We now speak of "investing" in friendships, ensuring our relationships are "serving" us, and maintaining "healthy boundaries" as if we're managing a portfolio rather than nurturing human connections. While these concepts can be useful tools, their overuse risks turning friendship into a transactional endeavor. Suddenly, it's not enough to simply enjoy each other's company; every interaction becomes a growth opportunity, a chance to 'level up' our emotional intelligence or expand our perspectives. We're treating our friends like personal development workshops with legs. This constant weighing of costs and benefits in our relationships strips away the spontaneity and simple joy of connection…
This is not to say that friendships are always easy or free from conflict. Human connections are inherently messy, imperfect, and often uncomfortable. Even our closest friendships have moments of friction, misunderstanding, and distance. However, the overall balance should tilt decidedly towards positive emotions. Friendship should be a source of joy, comfort, and energy – not a drain on our emotional resources…
your fave is selling a pedophilic fantasy by
Girlhood, by my read, is constraint. Girlhood sits in the audience, watching the world ogle and adore an idea of her—this is the best time of your life, your youth goes so quick, you’ll never be as young and beautiful as you are now—then exits the theater to a world without options.
Thinking a lot about…
The future of reproductive rights and how they differ under a Trump or Harris presidency. Currently, this is the state of reproductive care in the US:
Abortion is banned or restricted in 22 (and counting) of 50 states
Between 2014 and 2021, maternal mortality rates nearly doubled from 17% to 32%
Maternal mortality rate in 3x higher than in any other wealthy nation
Black women are 3x more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications than white women
While many may think this conversation is focused only on abortion, there’s much more at stake. Scientific American lays it out:
And it’s not just abortions—routine pregnancy and reproductive care are also suffering as a result of abortion bans enacted as a result of the Dobbs decision, including standard care for miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies (pregnancies outside of the uterus that can be life-threatening if untreated). Neonatal mortality in Texas actually increased after its abortion ban was passed…
During a second Trump term, contraception may also be under threat. Project 2025 aims to strip away access to free birth control by restoring religious exemptions to the Affordable Care Act’s contraception mandate. In 2019 the Trump administration greatly weakened the Title X family-planning network, which provides affordable birth control and preventive health services, by disqualifying funding for clinics that also provided abortions and barring abortion referrals. Under Trump, the Republican-controlled Congress eliminated the individual mandate for health insurance under the Affordable Care Act, further weakening access to reproductive health care…
The rollback of abortion rights under Trump is also threatening people’s ability to grow their family using in vitro fertilization (IVF). The Alabama Supreme Court ruled earlier this year that embryos created using IVF are considered children, prompting several IVF clinics to pause treatments out of fear that physicians and families could be prosecuted for creating embryos that were not or could not be used for a pregnancy. Other states already have fetal personhood laws on the books that providers worry could be used to jeopardize IVF.
In Tuesday’s VP debate, Tim Walz shared how these dangerous bans have real-world consequences and have affected women and their families:
He told the story of Amanda Zurawski, who, after doctors sent her home from a hospital in Texas, experienced a complication in her 18th week of pregnancy that could have killed her. And he spoke of Hadley Duvall, a 12-year-old who was raped and impregnated by her stepfather in Kentucky.
Then he turned to the story of Amber Thurman, who died after delays in her medical care connected to Georgia’s ban on abortions after six weeks, according to a report by ProPublica.
If like me, you’re concerned about reproductive rights, among many other issues on the ballot this November, I hope you register to vote and look into what’s on the ballot in your state.
And if you’re not really excited by the idea of voting? I completely get it. For almost a year, we have watched our country send billions of dollars of weapons and funding to Israel’s military, who have killed over 40,000 Palestinians and more, despite 61% of Americans’ opposition to this disgusting use of taxpayer dollars.
It’s easy to feel like our votes don’t matter — especially when people on the internet and in our lives are telling us such. But what they often don’t add is how general of a statement that is. Sure, it’s easy for someone like me, someone in a solidly blue state to feel like my vote won’t matter, but the same is not for those in swing or red states or those who lack the privileges I am so lucky to have. The reality is that there are differences and distinctions — not just among politicians or presidential candidates, but policies and propositions on the ballot.
If you need a bit of a reminder on why you should exercise your vote, look no further than Ruwa Romman, who explains why much better than I ever could:
Let’s say you are picking between two people — you don’t like either of them — but one of them really is slightly worse and you having to organize under them is actually a lot harder because then your coalition is going to have to spend time working on like 8 different issues instead of just 3 of them. That is a huge difference… because then your coalition as a whole has more capacity to take on advocacy for those 3 other things instead of being split up between 8…
If we can just teach people that voting is a habit — it is not a moral contract — and it is genuinely just moving a piece on a board and the question you have to ask yourself is which piece — not necessarily will move me forward — if elected is going to force me back multiple spaces on my board?… It’s not that we’re winning at the voting booth, it’s that there are so many opportunities to lost and so many opportunities to regress…
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