what's on my wish list (for the holidays and in general)

02: gifts i actually want this holiday season

My friend

Ali LaBelle

recently shared a fun piece (all her pieces are fun) called Gifts for your friend who’s a lot like me and immediately after reading it, I thought about what I would want to add to my own list. 100% of the time, I’m the type to reply with nothing any time anyone asks me what I want for my birthday or the holidays. When I’m asked on the spot, I really can’t think of anything I want or need, but Ali’s piece prompted me to think about what I’d actually want. I’ve listen them all here so that I could refer to it when those times do come and I thought it might help you navigate shopping for a friend (or yourself), too.

Afterall, 61% of surveyed Americans admitted to getting at least one unwanted gift over the holidays and an estimated $15 billion dollars are wasted on unwanted gifts each year.

The first is a shameless plug and available to all who subscribe ;) but below the paywall are many other things I’d be so happy to receive, which include: the three gifts I always give to friends and family; gift cards from places that feel thoughtful, not lazy; out-of-the-box and creative presents; and the luxury pieces (under $500!) I would love to find under the Christmas tree.

1. Books

To no one’s surprise, books are at the top of this list. I genuinely think they are the best gift you can give and receive — especially when they are already wrapped and have a handwritten clue card on top, Seen Library style ;) They’re inexpensive, intimate, thoughtful and can easily be borrowed, re-gifted, or donated for someone else to enjoy once finished. Instead of picking a book off of a top 10 list, I always suggest considering what your loved one is interested in or in need of – whether it’s a lighthearted story when they need a pick-me-up or a more substantial book centered on a specific topic like internet culture or immigrant stories.

With each clue I personally handwrite on every book, I share a glimpse into what the books hold, which can help you choose books based on the loved one in mind. Examples of some of these clues:

• A must-read dystopian fiction for those with mommy issues (guilty…)

• For the perfectionist, for the always productive, for the over-achiever

• A celebratory story of survival, love, and queer joy

• For new parents or those with immigrant parents — reminds you that parents are individuals with unique stories

• A compelling, cathartic portrait of friendship, societal expectations and womanhood

• Beautiful multigenerational tale of a family who clash over culture and search for the comfort of home amid displacement

If, like me, you’re looking to gift books this season, come by the Seen Library bookstand December 2 and 3, where you can browse and shop intentionally curated books that are already wrapped (by my mom!) with handwritten clues (by yours truly!).

More info here.

2. An act of service

Of the love languages, acts of service is my number one with gift giving actually coming in last. I’d much rather have someone help me with tasks that I need support on — like taking my car for a wash or helping me clean out my garage — than receive a gift. Instead of spending money on a present, my mom wraps books for Seen Library for my birthday and Christmas, which I appreciate so much more. She’s able to give me something I need — not want. Other examples of acts of service that I would be overjoyed to accept as a gift: cooking me a nice meal, babysitting my cat while I spend a weekend away, filling my gas tank…

If you’re strapped on cash or want to be more creative in the gift giving department, think about the unique ways you can provide a thoughtful act of service. Maybe it’s helping organize a friend’s kitchen pantry, baking your sibling their favorite dessert or offering to babysit for a new parent friends. To make it feel more like a gift, you can make homemade gift vouchers from pretty stationery that shares the task you’d like to help out with, presented in an envelope. We all have special things we can offer one another that doesn’t have a price tag attached.