the dream job is a lie

Why our careers don’t have to be “on-brand” or an extension of who we are

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we often have a dream job or a company we want to work for and how nowadays, we even believe that the company we work for has to align with our personal “brand.” When we were growing up, children aspired to be teachers, doctors, vets… Now, one of the most common career aspirations is to be a YouTuber or “influencer.” But the reality is, while from the outside, being an influencer or even a known brand founder or any other job that may look glamorous on social media, may seem appealing, what really matters is how we feel in that job. 

Recently, I came across a couple TikTok videos that made me think more about this topic. 

In one video, @darnroberts says: …Trying to convince my clients that there is no such thing as a “dream job” and that they should instead focus on what they want their life to look like and define their values so they can use their job as a means to an end instead of making it their entire identity.

While not specific about a job, @barbaraiv shares a similar sentiment about identity. She says: For the past few months, I did not have any social media… and realized that I have no “aesthetic.” That shit in modern internet context is absolutely made up - you, as a complex individual can not be defined in some “theme.” Picking aesthetic and then religiously holding on to it subconsciously makes us close-minded and blocks our self-growth. Mostly we change ourselves to fit in that aesthetic instead of expressing who we really are.

Nowadays, because of social media, so many of us are so hellbent on committing to an aesthetic or persona that we think we need to attach ourselves to, that we “commodify every aspect of our lives into a personal brand,” including things like our jobs, home interior, or even friends or partners. 

As someone who has had various jobs and worked for lots of different brands and companies, I will be the first to say that just because a job or company seems to be “on-brand,” does not mean that it will bring happiness or satisfaction. And I’m not just talking about the world of social media, either. What is “on-brand” can mean something different depending on the person. For example, I have intelligent, over-achieving friends who felt that going into the medical field or becoming lawyers was “on-brand” for them – and years into their careers, they’ve found themselves unhappy in their jobs.