seen library at my old high school
why this book exchange meant so much to me and how it came about
Of all the book exchanges and givings I’ve done, this one has meant the most to me. I graduated from high school 15 years ago and for most of those years, I tried to distance myself from it and my hometown as much as I could. It’s only in recent years that I’ve realized how much they informed who I am and how I move through the world, which is why I think I felt so drawn to coming back. To give back — even in a small way — and share something I love so much in a space that paved the way for where I am today. With that, though, I’ve also thought a lot about what I wish I would’ve had in those formative years of my life. There’s quite a few things that would make that list but I think stories from more diverse perspectives would be up there. Ones that would have made me feel less alone, ones that reminded me that there’s more to life than what was around me, ones that reassured me that the moment I was in was just one chapter in my life.
I’ve had the idea to do a book giving with students for a while, but it wasn’t until my best friend from high school put me in touch with a former teacher that this idea actually came to fruition. She mentioned the idea to him and he loved it – we began emailing right away. The more we talked about it, the more excited I became, but also more nervous and a bit unsure. I remember what my friends and I were interested in during our teenage years and a book gathering would not have been one of those things. I was convinced that maybe 6 or 8 kids would sign up (if we were lucky) and I kept envisioning a group of unimpressed students looking at me, bored and waiting for it to be over.
Luckily, that wasn’t the case at all — quite the opposite, actually. Mr. Romero told me that the twenty spots filled up fast and that despite it being Senior Ditch Day, all of the students who signed up were still coming to the book giving on school campus even if they weren’t actually going to their classes. One had even driven her and her friends to an amusement park that morning, drove all the way back to school for the book giving by herself, and then drove back to meet up with her friends again afterwards. I remember ditching school on my Senior Ditch Day back in 2009 – we were divided into groups and competed to see who could pull off the most senior pranks and dares. 17-year-old me would have definitely skipped the book giving (if I had even signed up for it).
When the students arrived, my cousin (who helped with the book giving and is just a year younger than me and shared the same high school!) and I were met with such warmth and excitement. Everyone was so kind and eager to get started and happily browsed the clues.
As soon as everyone picked their books, we all sat in a circle on the grass outside and I shared a bit about Seen Library and my own relationship with reading – how I was a big reader when I was younger, but lost interest during high school and college because of the books that were assigned and that it was only until my mid 20s that I discovered my love of reading again, through books by women and authors of color. Because through those stories, for the first time, I was not only able to see and understand myself a bit more, but just as importantly, the experiences of others.
We then discussed the theme of the book giving: The Next Chapter. Students took turns sharing which clue resonated most and what each were looking forward to most in the years to come. I shared that at 17-years-old, I was so ready to leave behind relationships and friendships I knew deep down I was outgrowing, and was ready to experience newness and adventure in my chapter after high school. For the next 30 minutes, I got to listen to 20 students share what they were looking forward to in theirs.
Some shared how they were wanted to see more of the world and learn new perspectives. One talked about finding independence, as all of her happiness depended on others. A few talked about letting go of fears, expectations, limitations and tendencies to compare. One shared how she wants more forgiveness for herself and others. Another was committing to loving herself through all the changes that she would surely go through. One talked about shedding teenage cynicism and finding optimism in the world.
I was blown away by the vulnerability, maturity and introspection in their answers. I don’t think I would have had the same ability to articulate as well as they did at their age – and so honestly. It made me so hopeful for the generations to come and so grateful for teachers like Mr. Romero, who teaches his classes with such intention and thoughtfulness and encouragement that allows for his students to feel so comfortable with themselves and their feelings.
You can see more of the book giving here, along with links to a few of the books shared as well as the recent book drive I hosted to collect books for my old high school’s new library and a great local organization.