no one asked: recent vintage finds, favorite spots in Santa Barbara, and what I'm doing this weekend
no one asked: recent vintage finds, favorite spots in Santa Barbara, and what I'm doing this weekend
07: what i'm reading, buying, and saying no to...
Saying no to…
Hanging out with people I don’t feel good around. I’ve always been pretty good about being intentional with the people I surround myself with, but sometimes it’s so easy to get looped into group hangouts with people whose energy may be incompatible with mine. Towards the end of last year I got better about setting boundaries in this situations, quietly opting out of these types of get togethers, and instead making plans with the friends I really want to see and spend time with. I think oftentimes we feel obligated to be close with the people our friends are around, but I think it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone is for you and that’s ok — and sometimes a one-on-one coffee date or couch hang is more enjoyable and nourishing than a group gathering that includes people you may not necessarily want to spend time with on your own time.
Eating…
Sama Sama chicken wings, which are SO good. And I don’t even really like chicken. Recently, my husband and cousins and I went to Santa Barbara for a day trip - and we never leave Santa Barbara without eating at Sama Sama, a farm-to-fork restaurant that serves southeast-Asian inspired food.
Other spots that looked good that we didn’t get to go to: Bibi Ji, Tyger Tyger and Your Choice.
On a non-food related note, we went to the cutest, most charming used bookstore called The Mesa Bookstore, which I highly recommend. Others that were suggested that we visited: The Book Den and Chaucer’s Books.
Reading…
I just finished my 9th book of this month (some were very short, just fyi) and finally, it’s a fiction book that I really, really loved. It’s called Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson and it was just beautiful and simple. It’s unlike any fiction I’ve read before. Alternating narratives and flashbacks, told in a way that’s short and sweet, yet somehow still allows the reader to know these characters intimately. I love how it explored so much — subtle but impactful — mother and daughter relationships, sexuality and identity, class, and family legacy, all while shedding light on historic events. I highly recommend. And it’s less than $5 on Abe Books.
Speaking of reading… see you tomorrow at the Seen Library book drive and pop up?
Buying…
Vintage 14k gold earrings and leather jacket from Shop RLT… And no, I’m not just saying that because we are doing a pop-up and book drive together this weekend. I couldn’t think of anything I’ve purchased recently so I literally went to check my credit card statement as I was writing this. Almost every time I go into that store, I find something I love and I get it, because I know I won’t be able to find that same item anywhere else. I’ve gotten the vintage brown Levi’s I wear weekly from RLT, as well as a black and white pair and a navy cashmere sweater. I’m telling you - they have incredible stuff and you should come say hi and browse their selection this weekend :)
I’ll be there from 11am to 6pm both Friday and Saturday and 2pm to 6pm on Sunday.
TikTok I’m watching…
The Pouf’s video about diet culture in influencer content. She talks about how prevalent disordered eating habits are so casualized and normalized in influencer spaces. Things like cleanses and diets disguised as wellness and tutorials on how to pose — all things that perpetuate this idea that thinness is good and what we should aspire to. She goes on to say that we should all be mindful of the content we consume and the content that we post.
The video really spoke to me because I’ve been in so many influencer settings where similar types of comments have come up. An influencer sharing that she “just feels better when she’s hungry.” Influencers telling each other that they don’t eat before 1pm or after 5pm or just have one meal a day. Seeing full plates go untouched at influencer lunches and dinners because of a combination of dietary restrictions. A friend telling me and a friend that we shouldn’t eat on or before airplanes. And almost always, these comments are said in a way that is so casual, that if I wasn’t careful, I, too, would buy into them.
Listening to…
An extremely important listen - the Daily podcast episode on The Death of Tyre Nichols. Tyre Nichols was a 29-year-old Black man and father who loved skateboarding and photography. And on January 7, he was killed by the police. If there’s one thing you’re listening to today, please make it this one.
If you’re wondering how to help, you can look into donating to support protestors in Memphis.
Article I’m saving…
Despite 'defunding' claims, police funding has increased in many US cities. With yet another instance of police murder making headlines and rightfully so, the question of policing enters the chat once again. While police, politicians and certain pundits will have you believe that police budgets have been slashed due to calls for defunding, research shows the opposite. In 100 cities and counties, 83% are spending more on police in 2022 than in 2019.
In Los Angeles, police budget is up about 8% percent -- more than $259 million -- from 2019 to 2022.
In Chicago, police spending is up 15%, almost a quarter billion dollars since 2019.
In Houston, police spending has increased nearly 9% -- almost $80 million -- from 2019 to 2022.
Yet those same politicians, pundits, and police claim that crime in the US is on the rise to justify these budget increases, when data actually says the exact opposite: violent crime in the US since the 1990s has been trending downwards.
And even if these police budget cuts were real, criminal justice experts actually say that there is no evidence that decreased police spending leads to increased crime. Kimberly Dodson, a retired law enforcement officer agrees: "Saying that the police deter crime is not actually accurate, because they're more of a reactive agency." Let that sink in: police respond to crime not deter it. And in too many cases, as we’ve seen time and time again, they’re the ones committing these violent crimes.
More reading: Tyre Nichols’ mother couldn’t hear his cries. Can you?