no one asked: lifestyle creep, my most worn trousers, and why i'm saying yes to more solo hangs
no one asked: lifestyle creep, my most worn trousers, and why i'm saying yes to more solo hangs
08: what i'm re-wearing, watching, and reposting on TikTok
Re-wearing…
The Vince Crepe Bias Trouser in Black. Like all the time. I get a lot of questions about these and by far, it is my most worn trouser in my closet. It goes with everything, it has an elastic waistband which makes it comfy to wear, and the cut is perfect - sleek but loose. I wear them with sneakers, with high heels, with kitten heels, even with socks and Birkenstocks. I dress them up with a chic knit or pretty coat, or dress them down with a white tank or oversized tee. They’re sold out pretty much everywhere, but as of August 2023, they are now back in stock on Vince. I also found a couple similar styles on Vince - a satin version of the same pant (I have this pant in cream and can say I love as it has the same fit — it’s just satin vs. crepe) or the same crepe version but in Navy.
Watching…
The Last of Us, much like everyone else who has HBO. It’s not my usual pick, as I don’t do well with creepy, scary things, but it’s a good show and one I’m pretty emotionally invested in at this point. And I love that the two main characters have come from Game of Thrones, which makes it feel a bit more familiar in a way. I will never forgive them for episode 5, though.
Eating…
The Chili Crisp sauce by Bowlcut. We’re big chili crisp sauce fans in this household and put it on everything - eggs, rice, meats… And admittedly, for a while, we were buying the one at Trader Joe’s… But this one by Bowlcut is the best I’ve had — not too spicy and rich and a bit sweet. It’s vegan but somehow, it also has a really delicious meaty taste to it. Also, it’s Asian-founded and owned. I highly, highly recommend.
Saying yes to…
More one-on-one hangs. In my last no one asked, I talked about how I’m saying no to hanging out with people I don’t feel good around. By doing that, it’s freed up time for me to catch up with those I actually do want to see and connect with. Around the holidays, I was going to a lot of group hangs, which often doesn’t allow for much one-on-one conversation. Lately, I’ve been doing coffee dates with people I really want to sit down and talk to instead. Just in the past few weeks, I sat with an old roommate who I hadn’t hung out solo with in years. I had tea with an old college suite mate who I hadn’t seen since our freshman year. I got coffee with a stranger turned friend who had offered to help out the last Seen Library book drive. Today, I’ll be having lunch with a friend who’s moving out of town — one whose going away party I opted out of because I wanted to be able to sit and chat with just her before she leaves.
Moving forward, though, I want to get more creative with how I spend time with people. As much as I love a coffee or tea hang, I want to be more intentional and find opportunities to catch up with people that doesn’t involve spending money - going for a walk, sitting at a park, or simply going to each other’s homes.
TikTok I’m reposting…
One on “lifestyle creep” or “lifestyle inflation,” a financial trap that happens when you begin to upgrade various things in your life once your lifestyle increases. This can include everyday decisions — going out to eat more vs. grocery shopping, buying more expensive brands — and bigger decisions like moving into a bigger, nicer apartment. As a result, you don’t save more, even if you make more.
I’ve definitely been guilty of this and been trying to be more mindful of it more recently. I remember getting a higher paying job at a beauty company, and because I was making more and was constantly surrounded by images of women with heavier makeup, I began spending more on beauty — getting my nails done, eyelash extensions, and so on. After leaving that company, those spending habits have changed, but I saw a similar pattern when I began making more when I went freelance. When one of our cars broke down, we upgraded to a more expensive car instead of getting one of a similar price. I signed up for a more expensive gym. I bought more designer bags, many of which I regret buying.
Of course, if you can afford it, some upgrades are more justifiable than others — spending more on healthier foods vs. cheap, frozen meals, for example. Or quality clothes that will last longer vs. cheaper, fast fashion options that will fall apart after one wear. Overall, it’s just important for me to remember that even if I make more, doesn’t mean I need more. A saying that my dad used to tell us when we were younger comes to mind: it’s not about how much you make, it’s about how much you save.
Listening to…
How the $500 Billion Attention Industry Really Works on The Ezra Klein Show. It talks about how online advertising influences and basically controls the internet — whether seeing a sponsored post on Instagram or having one pop up while watching a video or reading an article — and the ways our attention is used to keep this all going. One quote that stood out said, “Once you have a third party paying to access eyeballs to your platform, you have lots of incentives to shape your experiences to cater to the people paying your bills,” which made me think not only about how this relates to influencers creating content but also the ways media publications and social media platforms in general operate — appealing to brands rather than their audiences or themselves.
Article I’m sending…
This one on Vice about how sexual assault committed by police officers is a prevalent and common problem. I’ve been looking into this as a friend of mine had an inappropriate and uncomfortable encounter with a police officer who went to her home after a non-emergency police report. While she was physically unharmed, she was disturbed by the interaction and wanted to contact someone from the department about it, but didn’t because she was afraid the officer would retaliate, as he knows where she lives. She allowed me to report it, only if I didn’t share details about her or where she lived. While I completely understand and respect her decision, I hate that she was was worried and put into this position in the first place and that the officers have a way of using their positions of power to intimidate and keep people quiet.
While police are supposed to serve and protect, oftentimes they do the opposite of just that, and it’s important to remember to be cautious when interacting with them and to try not to be alone with them, especially if you are a woman.