I recently came across a TikTok where creator @cocomocoe says, “I don’t think networking matters or is as big of a deal as people make it out to be.” She talks about how she disagrees with the common phrase “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” and goes on to say that hard work and talent speaks much louder than networking can and that not everyone has the privilege to network – some may not have the time or may have social anxiety that prevents them from doing so.
In theory, I absolutely agree with what she’s saying. I think hard work and talent should weigh heavier than connections. And I do think it is 100% a privilege to 1.) be comfortable enough to go out and network and 2.) to have the time to do it. In actuality, though, in order for one’s hard work and talent to be recognized, someone else has to recognize it. And that someone else can’t just be anyone – they have to have the authority to make the decision to get that person in the door.
I know I can only speak to my experience and the industry I work in. I have no idea what it takes to get a job in the medical field or in education (although I do know that a pharmacist friend found her new job from an old classmate and my husband got a position at a school through a co-worker’s recommendation, so knowing the right person surely doesn’t hurt). Personally, my connections were incredibly important – not only in the start of my career, but also the growth of it. While I don’t want to downplay my skills that have helped me find success, it’s important to acknowledge that hard work alone didn’t get me to where I was – it was also with the help of those I was lucky enough to know.
I often get asked how I got my start in my career and I usually tick off all the places I worked at, but never mention how I got those jobs to begin with. I think it’s important that I share all the ways that who I knew got me to where I am now – to show just how important connections can be, especially in the social media industry.
Before I began working, I studied public relations at my university. I had a handful of pretty impressive internships in fashion PR that I applied to from my school’s database. During my senior year, I was introduced to a company founded by a guy who graduated from my school a year prior. I didn’t apply and we didn’t know each other – we were connected by a mutual friend. I interned remotely for a few months (I was at home and had to take a semester off due to an injury from a drunk driving crash) and when I went back to school, I stopped working there. A few months after I graduated, he reached out to me. He invited me to his office for coffee to finally meet in person. There, he told me about the new company he started – something he called an influencer marketing agency, where they connected brands and “influencers” like YouTubers, fashion bloggers, and Viners (this was 2013!). He said he was impressed with my work as an intern and offered me the job on the spot. I had no experience in working in social media or with influencers. I just happened to have interned for the right guy at the right time. I said yes.
A year later, I quit (something you’ll find that I do often). After that, I had a short three-month stint at another start-up, where I was recommended by a friend I went to school with. After I left, I got an email from a woman I had met at a hair salon. The salon had hosted an influencer event months before and she was friends with the person I had attended with, a Viner who I represented at my first job. She told me about the company she started where she worked with brands to build and grow their online presences. She was ready to hire her first employee and said that after meeting me, she could tell I understood social media and asked me to work for her. I said yes. I was there for three years and at the end of my time there, oversaw 20-30 brand and celebrity social media accounts and 5 employees.
As I was preparing to leave this job, I interviewed with three big beauty companies – all of which I had connections to. The first was a celebrity hairstylist-backed haircare brand I had previously worked with on a one-off Instagram partnership. I saw that they were hiring and directly emailed my contact. The second was an influencer-founded skincare brand just starting out (now a cult favorite at Sephora). I knew the founder from my first job, as I used to help facilitate her brand collaborations, and she reached out to me as she was familiar with my work background. The third was a big beauty brand, which I was connected to by that same friend who recommended me to that three-month social media job I mentioned above. I got offers from all three. While my work experience and interviewing skills definitely helped, it was my close proximity to the decision makers at all three companies that played a large role in getting to their interview processes in the first place.
By 2018, I had worked in-house for four different companies and got offers from six. I had a link to each one of them. By now, you probably get the picture, but to stress just how pivotal connections were in my career, I want to quickly share how they helped even as I transitioned to freelance. In my last 5 years of freelancing and consulting, I’ve worked with about 12 clients. Out of the 12, only one I had approached without someone connecting me. All 11 others found me through word-of-mouth or because I knew them directly. Besides my first client, all others were referrals or direct inquiries. Because I have been lucky enough to be well-connected in this industry, I was able to get steady work through the confidence others had in me and hardly ever had to go through a formal application process or pitch myself to a team that wasn’t already interested in working with me. In my 9 years of working, I can recall the few times I did try to apply for a job without a connection. None of them resulted in me getting the position, let alone an interview
From what I’ve seen, the phrase “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” seemed to ring true not just for me, but for many others in the social media world. At my first job, the founder’s best friend got hired for a managerial position he had no experience for. At the social media management agency, my boss hired friends of hers to join the team. One of them even got paid more than another employee who worked harder, had a higher position, and managed more accounts. For better or worse, knowing the right person can have a significant impact in someone’s career – even for those who may not necessarily deserve it.
I understand how fortunate I am for the work opportunities I’ve had. While I know that at some point my work did speak for itself, that wasn’t always the case, especially in the beginning. I truly believe it was who I knew more than what I knew was what opened so many doors for me. And I know – the idea of networking seems opportunistic, transactional, and disingenuous. But I am proud to say that for me, it really didn’t feel like networking. I didn’t go into spaces with connecting with the “right people” in mind. I never felt like I had to act like someone I wasn’t or play nice with people I didn’t actually want to be around or ask someone for coffee purely to get ahead. I showed up at social settings, internships, and jobs as myself, eager to meet new people and open to new experiences, all while working hard in this industry I wanted to grow in. And I think that’s what people saw and recognized. It’s also important to note that while the people I knew may have provided that first window of opportunity, genuine gratitude and sincere acknowledgement helped keep that window open. Some of the people that put my name forward for one opportunity, came back months or years later recommending me for something else. And I think showing my appreciation had something to do with that. Frankly, acknowledging those looking out for you – big or small – is just the right thing to do. Whether it’s taking that person out for a nice dinner, giving them a small commission, sending them flowers, or simply emailing them a $10 gift card to their favorite coffee shop, kind gestures go a long way and are much less common than you might think.
Because I’ve seen how impactful someone saying my name in a room full of opportunities can be, it’s important for me to do the same for others – especially those who don’t already have the luck of knowing the right person. In my many years of working, I’ve seen so many already well-connected people get further along in their careers because of their proximity to certain people and I try my best to introduce those who may not have the same connections. I make it a point to be that bridge and find instances where I can connect a friend or acquaintance whose work I strongly believe in. I’ve seen how opening that first door can open so many others – not just for me, but for the people I’ve given glowing recommendations for, and that’s really cool to see.
So while networking may not be easy for everyone, it does matter. And yes, work and talent do, too. As an article I found on LinkedIn says, “‘It’s what you know and who knows you’. Both are needed. Being competent, and also having those in authority know of your abilities.”
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to no one asked by jordan santos to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.