no one asked: my favorite bag under $200, the next seen library pop up, and why we should be ignoring our audiences
10: what i'm buying, re-wearing and saying yes to...
Listening to…
Rick Rubin Says Trust Your Gut, Not Your Audience, where music producer Rick Rubin talks about how to tune into our creativity, why we need to trust our own tastes and intuition, the benefits of not setting goals, and why we have to ignore our audience.
While listening to this, I had my notes app open, jotting down all of his wisdom. So much of what he said resonated deeply. I’ve been told to always listen to the audience ever since I started working in social media — both on the brand and influencer side. While there is, of course, benefits to that, I’ve always felt a resistance to that advice. When we constantly ask the audience what they want, they will likely respond with what they already know, what they already see out there. And I think that’s why so many brands and creators begin to create and put out content that feels so similar. At this point in my career in brand consulting, I only want to work with brands who want to hone in on who and what they are and build on that. I’ve worked with too many brands who will come into marketing meetings and study what their competitors are doing, which diminishes the special quality that they have or could have. The same goes for the influencer world — I’ve definitely fallen into operating how I thought I should be operating. I’ve put out content in the same vein as other creators, thinking that’s what brands and people wanted to see, but that ultimately made me feel less like me.
In the episode, Rubin says, “If you want to connect to an audience, you have to ignore them when making the work. Because if you’re making the work for the audience, it’s no longer genuine or authentic. The authenticity is what makes it good — flaws and all. Ugly and all. Beautiful and all. Weird and all. All of those things are what makes people connect.”
Listen to the podcast here.
Saying yes to…
More family time. As I’ve gotten older, I realize how little I know about my parents — who they are besides being mom and dad. While I’ve always been pretty close with my dad, I always thought my mom and I were polar opposites with nothing in common. In the past few years, though, I have been more intentional on finding our similarities instead of focusing on our differences. And we’ve gotten so much closer since. Instead of through hugs or I-love-yous, I’ve noticed my mom shows her love by cooking my favorite meals and performing acts of service. Now, I lean into that, asking her to help me with Seen Library or requesting she cook shrimp sinigang, my favorite Filipino meal. She’s a huge Bridgerton fan, so I made the effort to watch the last season and talk to her about it when it came out. And like me, she loves to travel. We’ve gone on mother-daughter trips to London and New York, and just booked another trip to the big city together, this time with my two aunts. When we do spend time together — whether wrapping books or having dinner in a new city together — I try to ask more about her and her life before me. And in the process, try to get her to know me bit better, too.
Connecting with…
A group of friends and acquaintances in New York :) When I was there in December, I tried to throw together a last minute book exchange, but didn’t make it work. This time, I planned a bit more in advance. Because I only have a few days in the city, I wouldn’t realistically be able to see everyone I’d want to see or meet, and wanted to bring everyone under one roof, over a shared interest, hoping they’ll enjoy meeting each other, too. While I feel a bit out of my element planning something like this in a different city, I’m trying to embrace the amateur here and release any expectations and just try to put it together as best I could ;)
Re-wearing…
My St. Agni Minimal Mini Tote, pictured here and here. It’s my go-to for more casual outfits and when I’m not opting for The Row Everyday Bag I always wear. I love its unique boxy shape, its minimal design, and its size — small enough to fit under your arm comfortably, but the perfect size to fit a book or two. It’s so good, friends have purchased it after seeing me with it and they love it just as much, too. Also, it’s under $200, so it won’t break the bank like a designer bag will.
Buying…
A lot of books. And custom library cards and bookmarks. And paper rolls.
If you follow @seenlibrary, you may have learned that the next pop-up is coming up VERY soon. It’s taking place on Saturday, May 6 and Sunday, May 7 at the Platform in Culver City — specifically that little space here marked as #22.
Guests will be able to shop (mostly) pre-loved and intentionally curated books, which will be wrapped in soft paper adorned with a custom library card of handwritten clues, so that you can choose a book by its contents rather than its cover, making for a thoughtful gift for yourself, a friend, or the mother figures in your life.
Each title was chosen with a new theme in mind: new perspective — which will encourage change within oneself or an approach to others or their surroundings, one that will give its new owner a welcome shift during this season of growth.
This time, this pop-up will be stand alone, instead of in someone else’s space like the last one, which does make me a bit nervous. From February’s pop-up, though, I learned a lot — especially that I needed more books! I didn’t expect the books to sell out so soon, let alone at all, so I made sure to order even more this time around. I also made sure to source multiples of my very favorites, so more people can enjoy them. I’m also tweaking the library cards and bookmarks a bit and will include a few other small businesses that I love on the shelves :)
PS: there are also a lot of other cool pop-ups going on and great stores at the Platform — all good places to shop the weekend before Mother’s Day. Some of my personal favorites:
ARQ x James Street Co. - whose knits I wear A LOT
CLOSED - a very cool European denim brand
Reformation - which made it on the list of items I’m constantly re-wearing
Aesop - a beautiful store with body care I’ve loved and been using for years
And in general, many other great spots to get coffee, boba or ice cream
TikTok I’m saving…
This one by @katydegroot, where she talks about how we’re conditioned to be perpetually unsatisfied, always looking forward to the next big event in our life, thinking that will be the thing that will finally bring us happiness, whether it’s starting a new business or high-paying job, buying a big house or starting a family…
At every step in our lives, the goal posts get pushed and we are then looking to see what milestone is next, instead of looking around and enjoying where we are and the one we just achieved.
Article I’m sharing…
America’s toxic mix of guns, concern over crime — and fear-mongering by the Washington Post. As you’ve probably heard, in the past week in Missouri, a young Black boy named Ralph Yarl went to the wrong house to pick up his siblings and got shot twice by the homeowner. In upstate New York, a young woman named Kaylin Gillis pulled into the wrong driveway and was murdered by its homeowner. In Texas, two cheerleaders were shot at after trying to get into the wrong car.
As horrifying and disgusting as this is, it’s sadly not surprising with this country’s obsession with guns and with it, the idea to protect against the rising crime at all costs — a claim that politicians, gun lobbyists, news pundits and police parrot in order to justify relaxed gun laws and increase in policing, when in reality, violent crime in the US has gone down since the 90s and since 2020 and 2021.
“Civilians in the United States own 120 guns for every 100 residents,” with gun ownership and sales surging even more in recent years. As of 2021, 9 out of 10 gun owners said they owned guns for protection against crime.
While crime has, for the most part, gone down, the media tells a different story. “Fox News’s mentions of ‘crime’ on its broadcasts have surged in recent years — particularly since President Biden was inaugurated.”
The post goes on to say, “What Americans are most likely to consume Fox News? Older, Whiter and more conservative Americans. More conservative, of course, also means ‘more likely to own a gun.’”
In a country where both gun ownership and the fear-mongering of crime is increasing, it’s no wonder that we’re seeing heartbreaking stories like this in the news.
It’s really fucking sad that in this No one asked newsletter and the last, I’ve had to mention the US’ rampant gun violence two separate times. With that said, again, if you want to support gun safety and prevent gun violence, please consider donating to Everytown. Each donation supports:
Defeating the gun lobby's guns everywhere agenda
Opposing armed extremism
Pressuring lawmakers to improve gun laws
Educating the public about common-sense gun laws and responsible gun ownership
Mobilizing grassroots supporters
Amplifying the voices of survivors of gun violence